Starting to lose track of the days… good thing I started on the first of the month. I know, I know… how hard can it be, it’s one more than yesterday? Counting. Not my strong suit.
So… I’m a third of the way through the 30-day challenge. I’m making menus that vary my proteins, sitting down to breakfast every morning (strange, that one), packing lunch… all that stuff. I may crave something sweet in the evenings, but usually it’s fruit… a long-standing habit… and I’m trying to keep that limited to earlier in the day, so my body has time to deal with the natural sugars. I’ll say at this point, the food part isn’t the challenge.
The workouts have been. Somewhere between hurting myself and verging on burnout, I’m doubting myself when I exercise. I’m not stopping, but I have this voice in my head saying things like “You should be able to do more” and “Why aren’t you better at this by now.” It’s now I need to listen to my trainer, especially when he reminds me how much I AM able to do, and how far I’ve come, and how, on most nights, I’m working harder than a lot of other people in the gym. Guess I have to keep repeating that stuff to myself until I believe it.
So, until I do, I’m going to “act as if”: I’ll make the choice to do the stuff I said I would do, and act as if I believe I’m good at it, and as if I like it lots, even if that’s not the case at this moment. And I’ll just keep doing it until the positive feelings become real. So, if I’m fake smiling, please be patient with me. I’m working on it. My choice.
Today’s Exercise: Quick spin warmup, then training, strength, then a conditioning circuit that included rowing, situps, and some name-unknown exercise that included squats and weights and a non-crawl. It kicked my butt, but I did not stop. My brain wanted to give up. I finished. There’s a lesson in that.