Let go, move on.

I spent the better part of my alone time today playing Monday morning quarterback, reviewing, dissecting, and rewriting the events and conversations of late last week. (I know, dwelling much?) I know I’ll be better off never saying the things that are in my head. They’ll harm others more than they’ll help me. So I’ll write them down in private and get them to stop rattling around my brain.

And then, I’m moving on. I’m only harming myself by continuing the one-sided conversation that goes nowhere.

And now that I’ve decided to move on, Monday is testing my resolve.

I’d planned to go to the gym and work out on my own tonight (done), and then come home and make dinner. After last week’s ventures into new and exotic proteins, I’d picked up marrow bones to roast tonight, following a recipe from Practical Paleo. I remember my mom and grandmother eating it when I was a kid, and I figured it can’t be bad. The good news is that mine looked almost exactly like the ones in the book. The bad news, I’ve discovered that bone marrow is just not for me. Way too rich.

So, now it’s approaching 8pm, I’ve been home from the gym for 45 minutes, and there’s no dinner. Wait… the roast chicken!  Nope, it’s still in the oven, having just gone in when the marrow came out. Still has about an hour left to cook.  Eggs? No, had those for breakfast.  What to do?

At every turn, I was finding a stop. But I let go and kept moving on. I would have dinner, and not the kind from a fast-food joint (an option that was looking like my last hope). And then, I opened the magic drawer in the fridge and found the chicken sausages. Cooked them up quickly, threw them on a salad with avocado, and called it dinner.

Tomorrow will be much easier. Leftover stew for breakfast (maybe), roast chicken and salad for lunch, and bison burger for dinner.

It’s a small test, but it worked. At every stop, I turned and looked for a different solution.
If I can do it once, I can do it again. And I can do it with bigger, more critical stuff. That’s my lesson for tonight.

That, and I realized that when I was so upset today, my first inclination was to head to the gym and pound the frustration out, not to head to the nearest store for chocolate or mac and cheese.  I still find myself wanting to work “till the pain’s gone”, and I know it doesn’t work that way. Guess that’s the next task to tackle.

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Exercise:  30 minutes, 5.3 miles on the elliptical, a half-mile walk around the track, and a 2K on the rower (9:33). No lifting at all. I’ll get plenty of strength training the next two nights with Coach. Even if I can’t look at that Movember mustache without being a little creeped out.

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