I just want to go over the edge

Once upon a time, man believed the world was flat, and if anyone sailed too far, they’d simply fall off the edge.

I need to believe that the plateau I’ve been on for the last couple months is just like that. And if I keep going, I’ll eventually fall off the edge and land in a different place.

Even as I write this, I hear the voice, “You need to stop judging your progress based on the scale. And don’t judge it on some arbitrary number on a piece of clothing.”

Yeah. I get that. And I’ve learned not to judge my progress on a clothing size. After all, I can walk into any store, try on clothes by four different brands and come out with four different sizes that all fit me. My progress measurement there is simple: if my clothes are baggy and I find some that fit better, I get them. Progress. Result. Period.

The other is a hard thing to train the brain away from, particularly when so many people, including my doctor, still judge that way, and I’m still holding myself accountable to that standard. But the scale is not my friend lately. Its numbers haven’t moved at all since November. And it’s bugging the crap out of me.

After all, I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, working out 4 or 5 days a week. Mixing cardio with strength training and high intensity workouts. I gave up alcohol almost a full year ago, cut back on the processed foods, tracked my calorie intake and workouts online, and I started following paleo more than three months ago. I deserve the results, dammit! And they’re not showing up.

So, I had a long talk with Coach tonight, and he made a couple suggestions about getting me out of this place. It’s time, as he says, to out-crazy the crazy. To move beyond the madness of the plateau and all that I’ve made it mean. To pick measurable goals that have absolutely nothing to do with my weight loss numbers. To step outside my comfort zone and try something new.

I am, of course, scared to go outside my comfy box. He might just be right… Again. But quite possibly, this is what I need to do, to take the trip off the edge. Now, I just have to work up the nerve to take that first step.


4 thoughts on “I just want to go over the edge

  1. azvbgirl

    Another way to think of it is this – you’re not gaining any weight either, you’re maintaining. That in itself is a challenge for most. You’re continually adding more challenging workouts, and you’re getting stronger (both in body and mind). So you must be doing something right. =)

    1. bethalyn Post author

      Thanks for the reminder, Sam. I’d thought about the fact that I got through the whole holiday season without gaining, but was in a very “what I didn’t get out of it” place. You’ve seen it. It’s not pretty.
      We should test that strength theory of yours, maybe in March, on some hill somewhere? Just a thought. (Lynn’s ready to pack her bags, BTW. We just have to work out all the logistics.)


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